James Madison

"Finally, a normal fucking president! Screw off, talking to yourself is normal!"

Origins
James Madison was born on March 16, 1751 in Porto Con. His upbringing was very similar to George Washington's in how he was poor from taxation. His family ran a successful pornography business, but the government taxed his family so hard they could barely survive. He was basically a copy of George Washington in every way so basically just go look at his page. Anyways, he got elected president.

War of 1812
Enraged at taxes, James Madison declared war on Britain the day he became president, despite having no soldiers. After several thousand crippling losses he personally joined the Last Battle of Niagara on February 17, 1815, where his forces were crushed by Tecumseh and Isaac Brock. The British agreed to return the land they had taken if they would be allowed to kill James Madison. The Americans agreed, and James Madison was killed.